Happy Fathers Day to these two amazing guys! Bronson and I are so lucky to have them in our lives.
Gary, you have always been so accepting of me. you've never judged me. you have always been there, whenever i needed it. you've opened your heart to the people i've loved, with no questions or concerns. you've trusted my judgement, even when it was not the best. for that, i am so blessed to have you in my life. thank you.
to my love of my life, jon. i don't know where i would be right now with out you. you are so patient with me. especially with bronson. you calm me down when i most need it. you listen to me, when i need to vent. you get a bit awkward when i cry, so that's good it doesn't happen very often. but i know you. and i know you aren't great at the communication of the crying emotions of a woman, but who is? i can only imagine it's pretty hard to deal with. but thank you for this past 23 months of fatherhood. for all the support. for letting me have girls trip with no guilt or questions asked. for working around my schedule and yet still making money. for being there with bronson. when you are here, you are present! that makes up for the time you are gone for the 4 days out of the week, times 1,000! i would rather a father gone 4 days out of the week and present 100% for those other 3 days, then to have a father who is here the whole week, but not really present at all. not really engaged, and not really caring to see their boy grow. but you are all over it. the minute you come home from work, you instantly swoop bronson, and tell me to take a break. tired or not. you take the initiative and get shit done. you are super mom/dad/boyfriend/contractor. i don't know how you do it, but you do. and with such grace. you make it look easy. i love you, jon.
happy 15 months little B! i keep telling people that you are actually turning into a toddler. you have an opinion. a voice. one that doesn't like not getting what he wants. you stomp your feet and have melt downs. i hate to say you are having pre mini tantrums, but that's what it sure looks like. :( you laugh with and smile with glee when you are happy though. which is most of the time. 80/20. 80% perfect, 20% fussy. part of that is due to some huge swollen gums from your molars coming in. i am surprised you have no back teeth yet, since you have been an early teether for the front ones.
these days:
you eat quite a bit. your favorites at the moment are egg yolk. cottage cheese. yogurt. cheese. salmon. pinto beans. bananas. grapes. blueberries. apple sauce. and of course milk. you drink massive amounts of milk and water. so much, that you leak through your diaper up to your chest every morning when we come to get you. dada usually brings you down stairs in a whole new outfit that i put you to bed in.
you sleep through the night. which is nothing new. you've always done that. except for a two month period when you were 8-10months old. i have no idea what was up with that. you suddenly just started waking up, then you suddenly just stopped. you're so weird. you nap once a day. we are slowly moving that back later in the day, so you don't have such a long afternoon stretch to stay awake for. this is making some of our play dates more difficult, yet some easier. the ones that you are on the same sleep schedule as the other babies. you still nurse. morning and night. i think i will keep nursing you throughout flu season, so until march or so. which is way longer than i anticipated, but hey, if it keeps you less sick for another season, then i'm on board. i didn't sign you up for music class this session. the MAIN reason is, your mama is a freak! and scared of germs and flu season. yes that's right. i'm crazy. but i like to say i'm a preventer. i will do all i can to prevent harm or sickness to come your way. and that my dear is just ask for the flu. being in a tiny room with the heater on with a whole bunch of other kids sucking on toys and putting fingers in each others mouths. gross. i even, when no parents are looking, anti bacterial wiping the whole play ground. no seriously. and i wipe your hands after too, because you suck your thumb a little too much. i wash your hands when we get home after every outing with warm water and soap. i have a cover for the grocery cart, that i use for high chairs at restaurants as well. i have a silicone mat i put on the tables at restaurants for you to eat off of, so your food doesn't touch the table. i sanitize my phone so you can play with it, and our whole house! i am not normal. i hope you don't get me and your dads OCD-ness from us. maybe a little bit of it, like wanting things to look perfect, like laundry and stuff. but not the other stuff. it's annoying and it drives me crazy that i'm like this. we were going to take you to Orange County for X-mas to visit GGClaire, but now we are making her come here instead, since i was was going to fly with you and dad and Zoe were going to drive, but i didn't want you to get Ebola or the new weird virus called Enterovirus that's killing and paralyzing kids. usually ones with pre existing medical conditions like asthma, but still. that stuff frightens me. watching or listening to the news gives me anxiety. ever since this Ebola outbreak, i haven't been able to sleep good. i have buying bottled waters and organic milk that is sealed so it doesn't need to be in the fridge and lots of pouches of food for you just incase we need to isolate ourselves in the woods someday.
on to something else. like your dog. you still love her. and she's learning to love you more. i think. well, a lot more tolerable with you climbing over her at least. when we let her in from outside, you look at her, and then you sprint and race to her bed and face plant into it. you make sure she's following you before you start to head that direction. it's the cutest thing ever. you are pretty gnarly with the cat these days. you tack him. you point to his nose and pull his whiskers and tail. you chase him the house and give him hugs. you are infatuated with him.
your books are your quiet time. you will just sit with your books and speed flip through the pages real fast, or look at one page for a really long time and point to things. everything you point to, i tell you what you are pointing at. your favorite books right now are "pete the cat" "wheels on the bus" "down by the bay" and "farmyard". those are your go to books you always want me to sing/read to you. whenever i start singing you your raffi books, you instantly start dancing with one hand in the air.
changing your diaper is impossible these days. i actually dread the times when i have to actually change your diaper. you yowl. you twist and turn. you don't straighten your legs. ever. i usually have to get you the house phone, or this cardboard box i won't let you play with, unless it's for diaper changing, so you actually lie still. i hope one day you will get better at this.
you absolutely adore your toys. all of them. especially the ones with wheels. you can literally play with your toys for 20 minutes at a time without my attention or help at all. sometimes i will just sit and watch and admire you. sometimes i will go off and do some things, like clean the kitchen, or dust. when i vacuum you like to assist. you love the noise of the vacuum. you love to push the vacuum. you are so independent. i love how you can entertain yourself without the need of another human. i can hardly do that. haha. you get that from your dad.
i let you watch shows on netflix once in a while. i said i would wait until you were two, but you're not that into it, so i'm not that worried about it. you watch for like ten minutes, then you're over it and on to the next best things. but on a rainy day, it's fun to sit on the couch and snuggle. you are becoming closer to that age when you can just chill with me and not move. i'm hoping. probably wishful thinking.
you kick balls. you throw balls. you can put balls in holes. you can pick up legos and put them away. what's more impressive is that you can comprehend what i say and take direct orders. you run your diapers to the diaper pail. you run your trash to the garbage can. you love to throw away things so much, i find some things in the garbage that aren't supposed to be thrown away. like your magnets. you bring me things i want. you tell me what you want, either by signing, or pointing, or me asking you, and you either nod yes or no. you sign: more,milk,all done,water,later,up,sleepy,ME,hungry,brush teeth.
at dinner, when somethings really good, you say MMMMM then "good" and nod your head yes. you pretty much moan MMMMMM the entire time you eat though. when your silent, i know you're really tired. like tonight.
your words are: Elliot, Mama, Dada, UP, Down, Banana, Good, Cheese, & Hi.
you woof when i say 'whats the dog say' or when i point to a dog, or when you hear a dog. you pull up your shirt and grab your belly when i say 'bronson, where's your belly?' and you tough your head when i say 'where's your head?' you touch your nose and sometimes pick it when i say 'where's our nose?'. we are working on ears, which i think you have down by now. you are really easy to train. you are very trainable. kind of like Zoe was. She was just an easy dog to do tricks with. and your are that way too. not to compare you to our dog, but she is like our other child as well.
man, there are just so many things i want to tell the world about you, and how smart and lovable you are. you give the BEST hugs and blow the BEST kisses when asked. you're starting to give real kisses too, which are really cute. you wave good bye, very stiff handed. especially when you want dada to leave the room so you can get onto breastfeeding before bed. you are just about the best little companion a mom could ask for. and today, i want to honor YOU. and thank you for choosing me as your mother. as your friend. as your side kick. and thank you for being so healthy. i am so lucky and fortunate to have you in my life.
happy fourteen months. i can't believe this. you are so charming bronson. you charm everyone everywhere you go. to the grocery store. to lunch. shopping. the park. you smile every chance you get. you get this little nose crinkle now when you grin. it drives me crazy! the big thing is, you walk. you walk everywhere! you walk all around the side walk waddling around like E.T. you walk down the sidewalk. you walk all over the play grounds. YOU WALK! and it's so fun! this is by far my favorite stage of yours. you're so independent. maybe a little too bit sometimes. as in, you only want to feed yourself and hold your spoon. you love using the big boy sippy cups. you still love food. you get picky occasionally, but only because you can, and it gives you something to have control over. otherwise, you don't stop eating! ever. i'm a lithe less strict about your diet, and it has made our lives so much easier. i don't have to stress so much on always having food for you, and i know i can always count on a kids menu. grilled cheese sandwich? yes please! i always ask of course, do you have unsalted butter? they say no, and i say, ok. :( i don't add any salt to your food still, but the occasional salt at a restaurants ok. i don't give you sugar yet either, but i'm sure it'll happen soon. and you will love it.
you sign lots and say a few words. you sign 'milk, more, hungry, all done, water' you have a new sign now that you made up and it means "ME!" you slap your chest or tummy with your hands. you also do this poking thing when you want more of it. like my boob. you poke my other boob when the one you're on has run out of milk. which happens all the time, because i have no milk anymore. my supply is drained. almost. i am trying to keep you breastfed throughout flu season.
you say "DOWWWWNNNN" just like that. when you want to get down from somewhere, which is usually my arms. you say "nana" for banana. you've said "elliot" for a while now. you say, "HIIIII" and pretend to talk on a phone. this is either with a real phone, a fake phone, or just anything that resembles a shape of a phone, like the remote control for the tv.
you wave good bye. a lot of times way after the fact, but you do it. it's this stiff fast wave. you really love to wave good bye to your dad when he is done reading to you and hands you off to me, because you know you're about to get boob. you are hurrying him to leave the room so you can nurse. you blow kisses..and then run or reach toward the person you are kissing to with mouth wide open. it's very sweet.
anyways little man. there are always things i love about you that i want to write about, but i always forget until you do it again. i need to keep a little note pad by me so i can jot down what it is i love. but keep up the good work of growing up. you are obvi super smart, and are on the way to be super obnoxious, but i love it. and i'm ready for it kiddo. keep dancing. keep smiling. keep laughing.
love you so much.
i am pleased to say that bronson gained weight. and grew.and his growth chart graph went up, from a low 20th percentile to a whopping high 23rd percentile. YES!
weight: 19.5 lbs
height: 28.5 inches
diaper size: 3
hemoglobin: 11.5 (which is in range)
lead: negative
we have finished most of the series of vaccines. just started hep A series. we will start MMR and Varicella at 15 month check up.
goals for this month: we are going to work on building things and saying a couple words, besides mama and dada, and the occasional blurred, slurred attempt of Elliot. we are going to try to eat more beans and lentils. we are going to re-try egg whites without breaking out in hives. and we are going to try strawberries. oh and we are going to WALK! we pretty much can, but crawling is just so much easier!
happy birthday bronson boy! it's been one year and a day since you were born. you have NO idea how crazy this thought is. that you've been in my life for this long, and i have so many more days to be with you. i seriously can't wait to see what those days bring.
you are seriously the funniest guy ever! you laugh at everything. you dance when you hear music or if i sing to you. you laugh out loud just because you can. you head butt us just because you like the sound of our heads clunking together. you drive cars ALL day long, and say 'vroom vroom' while driving them. you love Elliot cat. you even try to say his name. it sounds like a muffled blurred together elliot though. you see cats in books and you point to them and say 'elliot'. you are the smartest. books are your favorite. you chew the bindings of your favorite ones with your little shark teeth. the big thing right now is you take steps. sometimes 5 or 6 of them, but usually only 1 to 2. you take more steps when you are holding something in your hands and are distracted. you have no idea you are walking. when you take a couple steps you are aware and timid, and usually fall straight to crawling. you are a pro crawler. sometimes i have no idea how you got from point A to point B so fast. you eat everything! i vacuum like twice a day. or am picking up the tiniest little things so you won't eat them. it's very annoying! or i'm annoying. you are a pretty small guy so far. you are just growing out of your 6 month clothes and starting to wear your 9 month clothes. i buy 12 month clothes for you, and they are HUGE! i'm pretty sure you will fit into those clothes when you are about 2. not kidding! at the rate you're going!
i pretty much just want to tell you, i love being your mama. i couldn't ask for a better job. we have become connected to old friends that have had kids that i lost touch with. we have a whole new crowd of people we see. it's nice to reconnect. it's sad that so many people lose touch just because of a baby. i understand it now, and am trying my hardest to stay in touch with my friends without kids. this is where you realize what kind of friends you have. and what they are willing to do for you and how far they are willing to go. i am so grateful for the friends and family in my life.
bronson, you will soon learn how important family and friends are. this is why i am so adamant about you having play dates and making life long friends. these kids will be there for you through thick and thin. they will make you laugh when you need to the most. they will be by your side on the most important days of your life. and they will be there for you when you go through a loss. these are the people you need to cherish. without these people, life will be hard. i hope you love and respect these people the way i do. i've only known you a year, but i'm pretty sure you are on your way of becoming the most selfless, compassionate, open hearted person i know. you are a cancer. you are sensitive to others and have deep emotions. this may be hard at times, but in the long run being emotional will be your best asset in life.
i love you big boy. you are SO loved.
xo, mama
