Please Zzzzzzz baby!

                                                       
it was a beautiful day today. 70 degrees to be exact. we went for a stroller walk. he's getting used to the stroller now, instead of being attached in the carrier. and my back is loving this new stroller thing too. 

as for right now, i am listening to the monitor of B crying it out for the last 15 minutes. for some reason, some days, he just won't sleep. i don't get it. i am so sick of listening to him wale today! it is driving me absolutely nuts. 

i slept with him doing this all night last night too, with at least two wake ups. plus whimpering on/off the whole night. i am so tired right now, i just would love one night of uninterrupted sleep. no baby. no dog. no cat to bother me. because this mama is exhausted. 

he has been the worst sleeper lately. maybe teething. but that's my excuse for every bad night. but this time i'm actually serious. why wouldn't one want to sleep? it seems like such an easy task for us adults. and such a nightmare for little ones.

he is getting so hard to watch all day. he absolutely will not sit. he prefers to stand or do tummy time. he is crawling and lifting himself on things, which leads him to standing pretty much, with a little assistant. this amazes me and terrifies me at the same time. is this normal at 6 months old? 

i have also had to take every hard toy there is because he loves to just whack himself in the head with these hard objects, which leads to red foreheads and black eyes. he loves the honest baby wipes package. it is the best feeling for him. where ever i hide it, he finds it. grabs it. rakes it with his fingers and sucks on the packaging. i usually hide it in his clothes basket, which he climbs up on it and hoists himself to standing position. very impressive. 

ok so i fail as a mother. i am about to go get my baby so i don't have to listen to his crying anymore. sometimes i feel like the best mother when i have all his naps, bedtime ritual, everything under control with him and on schedule. then it all falls apart when things seem to be perfect. and then you feel like the worst person on the planet. probably because you have nothing else to be depressed about, except your child. because that is your life. and you have no other life. there will hopefully be an easier point to motherhood soon.