Dressed for Success

i must say, this little dude did phenomenal at our friends wedding saturday afternoon. even though we were so late that we missed the entire ceremony, but whatevs. i carried B around in my baby bjorn the whole time while he stared grumply at everybody who looked at him. not one smile the whole time. but not one cry either, so that to me is success. 

of course the minute we got there he pooped himself big time. we decided to take him out to the car and change him. unfortunately the 4-runners seats are not made for baby changing. weird. they slant towards the back, so when you lay your baby down, they roll over sideways. so we had the brilliant idea of changing B in the back where it was flat. the downside of that was there was Zoe hair ALL over the place. as jon puts B down for the diaper change and opens up the front of the diaper jon says to me "ohhh shit, this is gunna be a two person job. i'll hold the legs up and you wipe"  while in the midst of cleaning up shit off my baby's ass, the cops roll in behind us. sound complaint. fireworks. you know, the usual. fire hazard. such a good idea. coincidently out pops  jon's sister jessi who is placer county sheriff. she is beyond weirded out to see us, as were we. she tells us that she just ran into pam (the step-mom), mandy (the step-sister) leslie (the mom), and now us (the siblings and nephew) all while on duty that day randomly. i say "what a CO-INK-I-DINK". 

jon and B left for home early while i stayed and continued to socialize. this is the joy of pumping. FREEDOM. except you still can't really drink. well you can a little, but i'm so paranoid i won't. i came home around eight and relieved jon, of nothing really because B was sleeping, but let him go out to dinner/bar with his friends. i sat at home, ate gelato (which gives me diarrhea every time  but it tastes so good it's worth it) and watched, ummm i've literally been paused at the keyboard for 5 minutes trying to remember what i was watching, but i can't seem to remember anything these days. anyways, i kept waiting for B to wake up so i could feed him, which didn't happen until twelve hours later..seriously. twelve hours. i guess he had a little too much stimulation at the wedding. too many pretty, tattooed, perfumed, crazy girls squeezing his cheeks, while you could literally hear their uterus' fertilizing, secretly wanting and wishing they had a cute little dude like this. and probably a baby's dada like this too. since he is the best. <3