jelly fish at the Academy of Science
Zsa Zsa and Bronson
Scott the dragon, kip, and B!
Mamas!
Tuesday, December 31, 2013
Wednesday, December 18, 2013
5 months, YEAH!! and the magical poop onsie
wow. time has flown by. well the weeks and months do, but the days seem to take forever. i can't even explain these past 5 months. it seems like yesterday that bronson was just newly brought home from the hospital and all he did was eat, poop, and cry. not much sleeping. a lot of improvement since those days. on both ends. b does all of the above, even sleeps, and then some. i have improved because my confidence with B has gone from a 0% to probably a good solid 75%. and my confidence level with other babies has spiked way high too. and i actually like other babies now too. weird. well i think i do. at least i act like it. usually i would just ignore the baby all together, now i'm interested. i like to compare and judge other babies to mine. haha. always competing.
today for the big 5 MO, we went to target. i had of course procrastinated in getting my christmas gifts for the foster kids i chose to get presents for. i guess it's not procrastinating if you have a baby. no such thing. it's called everything is harder to do with a baby always in your arms! i sang to b the entire ride, which kept him from crying the entire time. super impressed with myself. the thought of me being that interesting and entertaining is pretty flattering. i sang, row row row your boat, itsy bitsy spider, doe a dear, and hush little baby (what i know of it) i usually end up humming the rest because i can't, for the life of me, remember that song. but this continued on repeat for a half hour. we arrive at target and i go to pull b out of his carseat, and BAM, SO much poo. all the way up the back to his neck, seeping around the sides. i panic!! luckily there was a towel for zoe in the car. i lay it down on the seat, then i lay him down. i think about my options. 1. i could just put him back in and drive home, but that would be such a waste, since it takes 30 minutes to get back home. 2. bring him into target and give him a bath in the sink. 3. just deal with it in the car. i chose option 3. and call jon on speaker kind of freaking out. before attempting to take off the pants and diaper, i get two bags ready. one for the diaper and baby wipes, the other for the poopy clothes. the hardest thing to do is taking off the onsie without getting poop all over your babies face too. which is so mean and gross if you do. but in the end it worked out. i had poop all over my hands and pants. he got a baby wipe bath and a change of clothes. i continue to baby wipe the carseat and cover the carseat with his swaddle blanket so it won't get on him when i put him back in on the ride home. otherwise target was a success.he slept peacefully on the way home with hand on chest. such manners my boy has.
i should have known better. i put him in his lucky poop onsie before we left home. even when i was dressing him, i had a slight suspicion that he might poop in the carseat while wearing this onsie. for some reason, this one onsie that we have that Mika gave us, is like poop magic. every time he wears it, he explodes. it even has poop stains on it in the diaper area. and when he hasn't pooped for a bit, we make him wear it, and it works. so it all boils down to, this is my fault. i shouldn't of dressed him in that onsie.
when we get home, i bring down the plastic bag with his clothes in it to start shouting his magical poop onsie so it doesn't stain more, and his pants. but to my surprise, there is no onsie, just pants. i am puzzled. jon says to me 'uh oh, did you get the bags mixed up and throw away the poopy bag with the onsie in it?'. 'NO!' i say. ---thats totes what i did. OMG. we are all disappointed in me! here's a picture of the magical poop onsie.
i could not have asked for a cuter, smiley, funny, sweeter, wiggle worm than this one. i don't know how it's possible, but i love him more and more every day. he is my little companion.
happy 5 month birthday my sweet boy.
mama loves you.
Saturday, December 14, 2013
Sophie the Giraffe
b loves his sophie the giraffe. he loves to bite sophie right on the nose with his gums and squeak it. jon calls it geri the giraffe, which drives me crazy! everyone around the world with kids knows it's name is sophie, not geri.
b and i walked to town yesterday to do some christmas shopping. it was a beautiful 52 degrees. we went to foothill mercantile, which is this gigantic toy store with a few levels. it's a little overwhelming. he picked out a few presents he wanted for christmas. it was very hard to make up his mind. had them gift wrapped, and now they are the first presents to sit under the tree. we went to the book seller and bought some new books as well. this gift was mainly for me. that's about all the shopping we could handle, with all the lines, and people waiting for gift wrapping. we have a very 'bored easily' baby on our hands. always got to be on the move. different scenery. different sounds. or else, squirm squirm squirm, and that really high pitched squeal/scream he does, which is very embarrassing in public. it's funny how my biggest fear is him crying. that's the biggest fear. and i'm still scared of that. and honestly, no one cares. unless of course you are in an inappropriate not baby friendly place, then people stare at you and say, why would she bring a baby here? but most places are very baby friendly. i need to get over this fear and relax. i feel like i should have this perfect baby that never cries and is always happy. but that is not realistic, nor healthy. babies need to cry to communicate and to develop their lungs. and to be normal.there's something wrong if your baby doesn't cry every so often. b rarely cries. he does when he's hungry and tired, or just bored.or if a person he doesn't know holds him for a long period of time. i've learned to feed him before he's hungry and put him down (if i am home and can) before he is over tired. this keeps to a pretty happy baby. so when he does cry, i am always confused why he is crying, when 5 out of 5 of his criteria list are checked off. i like how you pretend you know whats wrong though. you say to yourself, well he's fed, he's well rested, he's doing what he loves doing, his diapers changed, etc etc. it must be he's teething. or it must be his stomach hurts because he hasn't pooped in 2 days. my first thing i do is touch his forehead and say, well he doesn't have a fever so this is not an urgent matter and all you can do is comfort him with your love. no medical attention needed. just pure love from mama or papa will have to do. and in the end, this usually works. i hold him tight to me when meltdowns occur. tight enough that he can't kick off with his feet and get away. tight enough where he can grab the back of my neck skin. which is painful, and i usually silently yelp in agony. this usually get him to laugh though, when you are in pain. it's like he knows when he hurts you. he makes up for it by giggling away. he reminds me a little bit of, ME! oh boy, we are in for it, i can just tell.
b and i walked to town yesterday to do some christmas shopping. it was a beautiful 52 degrees. we went to foothill mercantile, which is this gigantic toy store with a few levels. it's a little overwhelming. he picked out a few presents he wanted for christmas. it was very hard to make up his mind. had them gift wrapped, and now they are the first presents to sit under the tree. we went to the book seller and bought some new books as well. this gift was mainly for me. that's about all the shopping we could handle, with all the lines, and people waiting for gift wrapping. we have a very 'bored easily' baby on our hands. always got to be on the move. different scenery. different sounds. or else, squirm squirm squirm, and that really high pitched squeal/scream he does, which is very embarrassing in public. it's funny how my biggest fear is him crying. that's the biggest fear. and i'm still scared of that. and honestly, no one cares. unless of course you are in an inappropriate not baby friendly place, then people stare at you and say, why would she bring a baby here? but most places are very baby friendly. i need to get over this fear and relax. i feel like i should have this perfect baby that never cries and is always happy. but that is not realistic, nor healthy. babies need to cry to communicate and to develop their lungs. and to be normal.there's something wrong if your baby doesn't cry every so often. b rarely cries. he does when he's hungry and tired, or just bored.or if a person he doesn't know holds him for a long period of time. i've learned to feed him before he's hungry and put him down (if i am home and can) before he is over tired. this keeps to a pretty happy baby. so when he does cry, i am always confused why he is crying, when 5 out of 5 of his criteria list are checked off. i like how you pretend you know whats wrong though. you say to yourself, well he's fed, he's well rested, he's doing what he loves doing, his diapers changed, etc etc. it must be he's teething. or it must be his stomach hurts because he hasn't pooped in 2 days. my first thing i do is touch his forehead and say, well he doesn't have a fever so this is not an urgent matter and all you can do is comfort him with your love. no medical attention needed. just pure love from mama or papa will have to do. and in the end, this usually works. i hold him tight to me when meltdowns occur. tight enough that he can't kick off with his feet and get away. tight enough where he can grab the back of my neck skin. which is painful, and i usually silently yelp in agony. this usually get him to laugh though, when you are in pain. it's like he knows when he hurts you. he makes up for it by giggling away. he reminds me a little bit of, ME! oh boy, we are in for it, i can just tell.
Friday, December 13, 2013
first snow and tree
we got snow. and a tree. a white tree. keepin' it real. zoe enjoyed playing in it and making the snow yellow. b had a real nice time sitting in it for his photo shoot while we documented his first snow. unfortunately the snow never lasts long.
sleeping: it's been okay. except now b wakes up in the middle of the night again. the n.p. says this is normal because he is learning so many new skills, and it wakes him up from his sleep. i shouldn't complain. i have friends who's kids are two and have never slept through the whole night before.
eating: can we say distractible baby? i seriously have to go in a closet in the dark to feed this kid in order for him to eat a proper meal. for example. feeding..papa says something..unlatch..look towards papa..smiles..latches again..zoe moves..unlatch..look at zoe..smile..latches..and even if i keep completely silent, i will look down and he's there unlatched grinning this toothless grin, and razzling with his saliva. i usually try to look away, otherwise we could have this staring contest forever..latches..unlatches for who knows what reasons. i've read up on this, and yes the distractible baby is a THING! pretty cute, but way more annoying than anything.
pooping: i like how pooping is such a huge part of a babies update. i mean, it's really 1/2 of their life. and i love talking about it. everyday when at work, and jon brings b to come feed, my first question is, did he poo today? oh he did, was it massive? where did it happen? ie. carseat? carrier? crib? did it get on his clothes? usually jons reply is, don't you see he is wearing a different outfit. that pretty much means, yes it got on the clothes and got all over the place. in the past, when b was teeny meeny, we were always like, please don't poop and let it wake him up from the nap. since we went 4-6 times a day. now when he only has a bowel movement once a day to every two days, we are routing him on. we say to each other, i don't even care if it wakes him from his nap and we have to change the sheets, we want him to poop dammit! you can tell it starts to hurt his belly after a full day of empty diapers. and truthfully, it makes diaper changing very boring. i used to love analyzing the color, the fat cells, the texture, smell and so on of his poopy diapers. pee is just really boring. once again, poop wins! hooray!
talking: we are working on it. they say at this age babies pretty much know all the vowels know and can say a big range of goo goo's, dada's, coo coo's etc. not any dada's or mama's for us yet. not even accidental ones. this will come i'm sure soon.
sitting: well i'm pretty disappointed in the sitting situation. i mean, i've been expecting b to sit better than he is, since he is been a month advanced in everything else. we are working on this. and would rather roll over on his hands and knees and army crawl or stand bouncing up and down while you balance him up.
books: tired of them. he has quite a few, but how many times can you read the same books over and over? pretty sure we read literally 15 books a day to him. we read at least five books to him before every nap and before bedtime. a lot of times we just hold the book so he can grab out at the book and put it in his mouth, and we just recite the book my memorization. sometimes b is awesome while story time. he just sits there staring at the pages and listening. other times, it's a mess. he is all over the place, turning every which way, swatting at you, the books, whatever he can get his hands on to shove in his mouth.
snot boogers: unfortunately, we live in a dry climate. and the allergy situation here is the worst, than any other place. b is always congested. like his mama. after baths we used to use the bulb syringe. at first it was okay because b had no idea what it was. now he does, and he can grab and hold things and push away and refuse. so i got the nose frida. it's alright. but nothing compares to saline nose spray. this just about saved my life, and b's. just a little spray up each nostril..and AWWW CHEWWW..and snot boogers fly out. they are white and very gooey and sticky, so there's no wonder he can hardly breath and clear them himself. i like to examine each booger and rave about how huge they are and how much better the baby must feel. jon thinks i'm a total gross weirdo. this helps with the eating too. a lot of times b will be so clogged up that he will eat without breathing, then unlatch and take like five big breaths through his mouth, and start eating again..then repeat. saline mist is my hero right now. i'm sure next month i'll be raving about something new.
sleeping: it's been okay. except now b wakes up in the middle of the night again. the n.p. says this is normal because he is learning so many new skills, and it wakes him up from his sleep. i shouldn't complain. i have friends who's kids are two and have never slept through the whole night before.
eating: can we say distractible baby? i seriously have to go in a closet in the dark to feed this kid in order for him to eat a proper meal. for example. feeding..papa says something..unlatch..look towards papa..smiles..latches again..zoe moves..unlatch..look at zoe..smile..latches..and even if i keep completely silent, i will look down and he's there unlatched grinning this toothless grin, and razzling with his saliva. i usually try to look away, otherwise we could have this staring contest forever..latches..unlatches for who knows what reasons. i've read up on this, and yes the distractible baby is a THING! pretty cute, but way more annoying than anything.
pooping: i like how pooping is such a huge part of a babies update. i mean, it's really 1/2 of their life. and i love talking about it. everyday when at work, and jon brings b to come feed, my first question is, did he poo today? oh he did, was it massive? where did it happen? ie. carseat? carrier? crib? did it get on his clothes? usually jons reply is, don't you see he is wearing a different outfit. that pretty much means, yes it got on the clothes and got all over the place. in the past, when b was teeny meeny, we were always like, please don't poop and let it wake him up from the nap. since we went 4-6 times a day. now when he only has a bowel movement once a day to every two days, we are routing him on. we say to each other, i don't even care if it wakes him from his nap and we have to change the sheets, we want him to poop dammit! you can tell it starts to hurt his belly after a full day of empty diapers. and truthfully, it makes diaper changing very boring. i used to love analyzing the color, the fat cells, the texture, smell and so on of his poopy diapers. pee is just really boring. once again, poop wins! hooray!
talking: we are working on it. they say at this age babies pretty much know all the vowels know and can say a big range of goo goo's, dada's, coo coo's etc. not any dada's or mama's for us yet. not even accidental ones. this will come i'm sure soon.
sitting: well i'm pretty disappointed in the sitting situation. i mean, i've been expecting b to sit better than he is, since he is been a month advanced in everything else. we are working on this. and would rather roll over on his hands and knees and army crawl or stand bouncing up and down while you balance him up.
books: tired of them. he has quite a few, but how many times can you read the same books over and over? pretty sure we read literally 15 books a day to him. we read at least five books to him before every nap and before bedtime. a lot of times we just hold the book so he can grab out at the book and put it in his mouth, and we just recite the book my memorization. sometimes b is awesome while story time. he just sits there staring at the pages and listening. other times, it's a mess. he is all over the place, turning every which way, swatting at you, the books, whatever he can get his hands on to shove in his mouth.
snot boogers: unfortunately, we live in a dry climate. and the allergy situation here is the worst, than any other place. b is always congested. like his mama. after baths we used to use the bulb syringe. at first it was okay because b had no idea what it was. now he does, and he can grab and hold things and push away and refuse. so i got the nose frida. it's alright. but nothing compares to saline nose spray. this just about saved my life, and b's. just a little spray up each nostril..and AWWW CHEWWW..and snot boogers fly out. they are white and very gooey and sticky, so there's no wonder he can hardly breath and clear them himself. i like to examine each booger and rave about how huge they are and how much better the baby must feel. jon thinks i'm a total gross weirdo. this helps with the eating too. a lot of times b will be so clogged up that he will eat without breathing, then unlatch and take like five big breaths through his mouth, and start eating again..then repeat. saline mist is my hero right now. i'm sure next month i'll be raving about something new.
out at lunch
they love each other.
Friday, December 6, 2013
The Last Two Weeks..
bronson had his 4 month check up, and shots! i have to say once again, he is one tough baby. barely cried. (probably because of all the tylenol i gave him. hehe) having chubby fat thighs help too. the nurse practitioner says he is growing, slowly but surely. he is only in the 25th percentile, but his strong-ness makes up for the shortness. i like to say. she asked if he was rolling over one way yet. i told her he had been rolling over one way since 6 weeks, and now rolls both ways. holds his head up to 90 degree. laughs. coos. giggles.smiles.babbles.grabs.feels.army crawls.does yoga. (plank pose specifically).oh and how interested in eating he is. she was very impressed by all this. this months goals: LEARNING TO SIT. well assisted sitting.
and B got to meet his GGC (great grandma claire) for the first time ever!!! we flew her up just so she could squeeze those big cheeks. B loved her. along with all the animals too. she is an animal magnet. zoe practically wanted to sit on her. anyways this is GGC with her amazing red zebra christmas sweater on, holding B. never did he cry with her. only smiles and giggles the whole 5 days spent together.
in love.
things we did with GGC:
-we went to the crafts fair. tried to bring B, but he fell asleep, so jon stayed home to stare at the monitor.
-went to cornish christmas. for like a second. it was insanely crowded and cold, which was a little too much for litte Jess. and everybody else.
-went to lunch at Toff's with the family. everyone did fabulous at lunch. B and little Jess, you two are troopers!!!
-had turkey day over at Leslie's.
-carved a turkey with a dull knife. (which i destroyed. but tasted fabulous!)
all together it was an amazing week/holiday spent with GGC.
Since you've been gone GGC:
bronson has a new thing he does. he squeals/screams. he's always squealed, but it's this really high pitch piercing one now. very obnoxious! he thinks it's the best thing ever. he is finding his voice. he does this scream when happy and when pissed. when happy it comes with an open smile after screaming. when pissed, it comes with a whimper/cry afterwards. which is what happened in K-mart the other day. the lady behind says: oh your baby is SO happy. no lady, that was a pissed scream. mostly because K-mart sucks. but it was the only place to buy my fake white christmas tree.
aw yes, it got cold since you've been gone. freezing actually. like it's going to snow tomorrow. and this is how we have to dress. like a jail bird. oh well. at least he has little tiger ears.
this is bronson very interested in eating the wheat thin.
this month was an exciting month because it was B's first turkey day!!
things we did with GGC:
-we went to the crafts fair. tried to bring B, but he fell asleep, so jon stayed home to stare at the monitor.
-went to cornish christmas. for like a second. it was insanely crowded and cold, which was a little too much for litte Jess. and everybody else.
-went to lunch at Toff's with the family. everyone did fabulous at lunch. B and little Jess, you two are troopers!!!
-had turkey day over at Leslie's.
-carved a turkey with a dull knife. (which i destroyed. but tasted fabulous!)
all together it was an amazing week/holiday spent with GGC.
Since you've been gone GGC:
bronson has a new thing he does. he squeals/screams. he's always squealed, but it's this really high pitch piercing one now. very obnoxious! he thinks it's the best thing ever. he is finding his voice. he does this scream when happy and when pissed. when happy it comes with an open smile after screaming. when pissed, it comes with a whimper/cry afterwards. which is what happened in K-mart the other day. the lady behind says: oh your baby is SO happy. no lady, that was a pissed scream. mostly because K-mart sucks. but it was the only place to buy my fake white christmas tree.
aw yes, it got cold since you've been gone. freezing actually. like it's going to snow tomorrow. and this is how we have to dress. like a jail bird. oh well. at least he has little tiger ears.
Saturday, November 2, 2013
San Francisco
my last week off, b and i decided to go to S.F. to keep papa company while he worked, and so we could spend some time with Zsa Zsa and paw paw before they left for Japan. the drive was horrible. b decided to scream the ENTIRE time. we stopped once to feed and to take a walk around the rest stop. he stopped crying instantly. he really just hates to be strapped down i guess. i hope this 'hate the car seat thing' doesn't last a long time or we're really in for it. it was beautiful in the city. cold but sunny. zoe and i went for walks up a million stair cases. she was a little weird being in a new place, but adjusted just fine. she managed to get her hair everywhere. poor auntie and uncle. lots of vacuuming in their future. blonde on black.
the highlight of our trip was we got to see mikio again, and suds! and witness the most projectile puke i had ever seen come out of such a tiny person. on me. it was worth it, to see his reaction afterwards. so calm and sleepy from the puke. he nuzzled right in to my chest (and puke). i knew i had to give him back though since there was pukes dripping off of me on the carpet. still in love with this little guy. no puke or shit or pee could deter me away.
bffs/cousins/twins. holding hands for life.
the drive back wasn't AS bad. still bad, but the screaming didn't really start until fairfield. we ended up stopping in roseville at the mall. i thought shopping would be a nice break for all of us. sure enough, it was. we strolled around the mall, speed shopping, in hopes he wouldn't have a melt down while standing in a line. he didn't. everyone was very impressed with how good he was. the only down fall is i wasn't able to get my eye brows waxed. boo hoo. they said it was illegal to wax someone with a baby attached to them. i was very sad. and didn't understand the reasoning, except that hot wax could spill and burn your baby. but it still seemed ridics. vanity over safety. duh.
we are all happy to be home though. including zoe. b instantly went to sleep when we arrived and didn't wake up until 12 hours later. fed. and continued to sleep for another 4. this boy was tired.
Monday, October 28, 2013
Mama Back At Work
i have been meaning to post something sooner, but my wireless mac mouse was dead. for like the past week. when it died, i thought to myself..this thing runs on batteries? thinking i had to go to the apple store and buy some fancy battery microchip thingy that was really expensive. to my surprise, while observing the mouse closely today and by pressing this little button on the bottom, i realized it only took AA's. stupid me. of course there were no AA's to be found. i searched long and hard. nothing. only D's for the baby swing and smoke alarm batteries. i looked around thinking, what can i steel batteries from? the remote controls! but what if i want to watch TV later.the wii remotes!! perfect. so now i have a live mouse with used wii remote batteries in them to continue on. thank you wii, you are a life saver!
this weekend i worked. i have been for the past 3 weekends. it's been nice to get away and use my brain a little and socialize with people over the age of 14 weeks. not wear leisure clothes all day. well, scrubs. which hardly is an exception. jon brings B in to my work for lunch time. -lunch time now consists of me being the food instead of me eating. this is the best diet ever.-
when B see's me, he gives me the biggest grin ever. i know he's just thinking boobies/food-no bottle. YAY! we go into the back office and feed. yesterday he fell asleep while feeding. that is when i wished we were home in the nursing chair so i could put him straight into the crib. instead i had to wake him up, which startled him. then he seemed confused on where he was. all these fluorescent bright lights, i can't blame him.
weekends are good because they are only 8 hour days. i'm not away for too many feedings, and they are usually mellower. next week i go back full time. that is going to be hard. but i will figure it out and get a routine down for that too.
jon says that b is the worst bottle drinker ever. he usually just keeps whacking it out of his hands the whole time, while crying. now B holds on to papa's thumb and pinky with each hand so there can be no whacking of the bottle. which helps a lot. he usually spills at least a half ounce of milk, either by not swallowing ever and letting it drip out the corners of his mouth, or by chocking and spitting it all over the place. either in jon's eye's, or his own eye, which i hear made him scream! so dramatic! towards the end of the feeding, B usually settles down and drinks. he even fell asleep for the first time with bottle in mouth. and when jon went to pull the bottle out, he would start sucking furiously again. we play this game on my boob too. this is probably where a pacifier would come in handy. which i refuse to give B. the less things to wean him off later, the better.
right now the boy sleeps. jon left for SF at 4am this morning to work. it's just me and B. it is rainy and dark out today. i was hoping we could just cuddle up and watch movies all day. for some reason, i don't think it will be that mellow of a day. one day he will be at the age of cuddling. for now, it's squirm squirm squirm all day long. grunt grunt grunt. babbling babbling babbling. crying crying crying. maybe we will still go for our walk in the rain. a walk is the one place where B is completely still and quiet. it is so peaceful. he loves his carrier.
this weekend i worked. i have been for the past 3 weekends. it's been nice to get away and use my brain a little and socialize with people over the age of 14 weeks. not wear leisure clothes all day. well, scrubs. which hardly is an exception. jon brings B in to my work for lunch time. -lunch time now consists of me being the food instead of me eating. this is the best diet ever.-
when B see's me, he gives me the biggest grin ever. i know he's just thinking boobies/food-no bottle. YAY! we go into the back office and feed. yesterday he fell asleep while feeding. that is when i wished we were home in the nursing chair so i could put him straight into the crib. instead i had to wake him up, which startled him. then he seemed confused on where he was. all these fluorescent bright lights, i can't blame him.
weekends are good because they are only 8 hour days. i'm not away for too many feedings, and they are usually mellower. next week i go back full time. that is going to be hard. but i will figure it out and get a routine down for that too.
jon says that b is the worst bottle drinker ever. he usually just keeps whacking it out of his hands the whole time, while crying. now B holds on to papa's thumb and pinky with each hand so there can be no whacking of the bottle. which helps a lot. he usually spills at least a half ounce of milk, either by not swallowing ever and letting it drip out the corners of his mouth, or by chocking and spitting it all over the place. either in jon's eye's, or his own eye, which i hear made him scream! so dramatic! towards the end of the feeding, B usually settles down and drinks. he even fell asleep for the first time with bottle in mouth. and when jon went to pull the bottle out, he would start sucking furiously again. we play this game on my boob too. this is probably where a pacifier would come in handy. which i refuse to give B. the less things to wean him off later, the better.
right now the boy sleeps. jon left for SF at 4am this morning to work. it's just me and B. it is rainy and dark out today. i was hoping we could just cuddle up and watch movies all day. for some reason, i don't think it will be that mellow of a day. one day he will be at the age of cuddling. for now, it's squirm squirm squirm all day long. grunt grunt grunt. babbling babbling babbling. crying crying crying. maybe we will still go for our walk in the rain. a walk is the one place where B is completely still and quiet. it is so peaceful. he loves his carrier.
out like trout.
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
Orange!
this little guy has been happy as can be lately. he is JUST starting to stay awake for longer stretches during the day, which means he goes to bed at like 7pm rather than 11pm. and sleeps at least 8 hours. or 10. or 12, like last night. unless he's going through a growth spurt. which already happened last week. which sucked. it brought me back to the days when i was sleep deprived. again. which i'm sure will keep happening throughout his life, so i should just get used to it now.
b thinks he looks amazing in orange. i can't agree more. he say's it will most likely be his favorite color when he can make his own decisions, but for now, it is.
lots of progress this past 2 weeks. bronson now holds things in his hands (on purpose) and what a grip it is. he can bring toys to his mouth, and i actually saw him transferring a toy from one hand to another. on accident? most likely, but i like to think every thing is on purpose and that he's just a genius.
he LOVES his hands. still. he holds them together and just stares at them while shoving them into his mouth. i've been trying to get him to clap, but it's not working so well.
everyday he smiles more and more. and stares at me with more love in his eyes. i'm starting to think that he actually loves me for ME and not just for my milk. even when he feeds, he is staring straight into my eyes. if i stare back at him, he produces a huge grin with nipple still in mouth. i usually have to look away (which is the hardest thing ever) so he keeps feeding.
reading books to him is starting to become fun. he sits on my lap still as can be, hands to his side, while looking at the pages while i read. every so often when he see's a page he likes he squeals in delight. his favorite book i read to him is 'in the wild'. every time i get to the elephant page and read:
Big, yet moves with grace.
Powerful, yet delicate as lace.
As to color, plain---
an ordinary gray.
But once we start to look, we cannot look away.
When peaceful, silent;
When angry, loud.
Who would have guessed the ELEPHANT
is so much like a cloud?
he starts laughing out loud. and then i laugh. and i kiss him on the head. and tell him "i love you". i continue reading. with every page flip there is a kiss. with every squeal there is a kiss. even with every cry there is a kiss. this boy is loved. so dearly. by me.
Thursday, October 17, 2013
An Apology Letter
oh my sweet sweet boy Bronson,
mama and Papa are ever so sorry for cutting the tip of your pinky off while trying to trim your nails. well honestly it's your papa who cut you, but i'm am the one who made him cut your nails in the pitch dark. i'm actually amazed he was able to cut one of your nails with success in the dark. you took it like a champ.
papa says you are tough like him. agree to disagree, because we all know you get your toughness from me. i have eye witnesses, that when i got hurt or fell i would start laughing. seriously. i coped with my pain by laughing up a storm. i'm sure you will do that too.
luckily while losing the tip of your pinky, you were breastfeeding. which i hear is a natural pain reliever. so that helped. you jerked a bit when it happened, but then continued sucking furiously, with me pushing your face into me a little harder just to make sure you kept feeding and wouldn't notice the pain.
you were gushing blood (ok we're talking like a micro unit here) but who's measuring? i put pressure and glared at your papa the whole time. don't worry, i got him back pretty good by my mean facial expressions. he felt terrible and laid his head on you and sulked. i explained to him that it happens to every parent, mean while on google searching -what to do if you accidentally cut the tip of your baby's finger off- and sure enough, everyone's done it. you just think that your going to be that one set of parents who doesn't ever do it. wrong.
i slept terribly last night thinking about your poor finger. i dreamt bout inventing perfect infant fingertip bandaids. and how i'm so glad it was your pinky and not your thumb, since you stick your thumb in your mouth all day. and that would be germy! i lay there wondering if you were going to wake up and then feel the pain of your finger.
fortunately B, you are alright. you survived the night. and so did we. barely. if it makes you feel better, i got bit by a spider last night and woke up with 8 itchy swollen welts all over me. pay back from your eight legged friend the spider.
today when you wake, i a going to give you a million kisses all over your face and watch you laugh and squeal. i am going to give you the best meal of your life (breast milk) in hopes that you will forgive me and your papa.
love US.
mama and Papa are ever so sorry for cutting the tip of your pinky off while trying to trim your nails. well honestly it's your papa who cut you, but i'm am the one who made him cut your nails in the pitch dark. i'm actually amazed he was able to cut one of your nails with success in the dark. you took it like a champ.
papa says you are tough like him. agree to disagree, because we all know you get your toughness from me. i have eye witnesses, that when i got hurt or fell i would start laughing. seriously. i coped with my pain by laughing up a storm. i'm sure you will do that too.
luckily while losing the tip of your pinky, you were breastfeeding. which i hear is a natural pain reliever. so that helped. you jerked a bit when it happened, but then continued sucking furiously, with me pushing your face into me a little harder just to make sure you kept feeding and wouldn't notice the pain.
you were gushing blood (ok we're talking like a micro unit here) but who's measuring? i put pressure and glared at your papa the whole time. don't worry, i got him back pretty good by my mean facial expressions. he felt terrible and laid his head on you and sulked. i explained to him that it happens to every parent, mean while on google searching -what to do if you accidentally cut the tip of your baby's finger off- and sure enough, everyone's done it. you just think that your going to be that one set of parents who doesn't ever do it. wrong.
i slept terribly last night thinking about your poor finger. i dreamt bout inventing perfect infant fingertip bandaids. and how i'm so glad it was your pinky and not your thumb, since you stick your thumb in your mouth all day. and that would be germy! i lay there wondering if you were going to wake up and then feel the pain of your finger.
fortunately B, you are alright. you survived the night. and so did we. barely. if it makes you feel better, i got bit by a spider last night and woke up with 8 itchy swollen welts all over me. pay back from your eight legged friend the spider.
today when you wake, i a going to give you a million kisses all over your face and watch you laugh and squeal. i am going to give you the best meal of your life (breast milk) in hopes that you will forgive me and your papa.
love US.
Tuesday, October 15, 2013
Afternoon Walk
B and I try to take a walk everyday. as we walk I describe to him every sound that he hears (cars, dogs, birds etc)every breeze that he feels and every scent that he smells. people probably think I'm crazy waking around and talking to myself. we take pictures of every pretty autumn tree. we stop to smell every rose. we avoid all the construction noise. we visit the girls that work at mint for some good cheek squeezes. we go into the local baby store and book store. i intentionally leave my debit card at home so I can't buy anything.
today he fell asleep on the walk home from downtown. flopped over the baby bjorn with his hat over his whole face and hands still gripped so tightly around each of my fingers. when we got to my house i decided to walk past and keep going. as soon as we got home i gently undid the baby carrier and tried to pull him out as gracefully as possible (which is impossible) and put him down in the crib. he didn't move. success. turned on his sound sheep and tiptoed out of the room. what do you know, half an hour later..head lifted at a 90 degree angle looking around with big wide open eyes. we have been playing this game all day today. seriously. it's so hard to put a happy baby down when he's overly tired. even though he's rubbing his eyes and yawning. he's been doing this thing where he just stares at you and smiles when you're thinking about putting him down. i think he's realized that he gets to stay up longer if he does this move. it works. smart boy.
i am counting the seconds until jon gets home to relieve me. i am still in what i slept in last night. i haven't washed my hair for 3 days. haven't been grocery shopping in a week. eating take out the last 3 days. winning at life, we are.
Monday, October 14, 2013
Dressed for Success
i must say, this little dude did phenomenal at our friends wedding saturday afternoon. even though we were so late that we missed the entire ceremony, but whatevs. i carried B around in my baby bjorn the whole time while he stared grumply at everybody who looked at him. not one smile the whole time. but not one cry either, so that to me is success.
of course the minute we got there he pooped himself big time. we decided to take him out to the car and change him. unfortunately the 4-runners seats are not made for baby changing. weird. they slant towards the back, so when you lay your baby down, they roll over sideways. so we had the brilliant idea of changing B in the back where it was flat. the downside of that was there was Zoe hair ALL over the place. as jon puts B down for the diaper change and opens up the front of the diaper jon says to me "ohhh shit, this is gunna be a two person job. i'll hold the legs up and you wipe" while in the midst of cleaning up shit off my baby's ass, the cops roll in behind us. sound complaint. fireworks. you know, the usual. fire hazard. such a good idea. coincidently out pops jon's sister jessi who is placer county sheriff. she is beyond weirded out to see us, as were we. she tells us that she just ran into pam (the step-mom), mandy (the step-sister) leslie (the mom), and now us (the siblings and nephew) all while on duty that day randomly. i say "what a CO-INK-I-DINK".
jon and B left for home early while i stayed and continued to socialize. this is the joy of pumping. FREEDOM. except you still can't really drink. well you can a little, but i'm so paranoid i won't. i came home around eight and relieved jon, of nothing really because B was sleeping, but let him go out to dinner/bar with his friends. i sat at home, ate gelato (which gives me diarrhea every time but it tastes so good it's worth it) and watched, ummm i've literally been paused at the keyboard for 5 minutes trying to remember what i was watching, but i can't seem to remember anything these days. anyways, i kept waiting for B to wake up so i could feed him, which didn't happen until twelve hours later..seriously. twelve hours. i guess he had a little too much stimulation at the wedding. too many pretty, tattooed, perfumed, crazy girls squeezing his cheeks, while you could literally hear their uterus' fertilizing, secretly wanting and wishing they had a cute little dude like this. and probably a baby's dada like this too. since he is the best. <3
Monday, September 23, 2013
The Past 9 Weeks
as most of you know, i had a baby boy.
throughout my whole pregnancy, well when i was actually showing, my OB never once said to me-you’re going to have a big baby-instead he just said little remarks like “so are you planning on having a big baby?” or “you’re measure really big this week” or “how much did you and Jon weigh when born?” etc etc. he kept down playing how big this boy really was, on purpose i’m sure, so he didn’t scare me. he asked me close to the end of my pregnancy what my biggest fear was, and i told him a C-SECTION/complications DUH! he explained to me that all that mattered was a healthy baby and mommy and giving birth is fairly safe these days and the death rate is very low. so i guess that made me feel better (not really) but i nodded my head and smiled anyways. surely enough, i had a C-section!
- Bronson Everett Morrill
- july 18, 2013
- 11:55pm
- 9lbs 8oz
- 20.5 inches
throughout my whole pregnancy, well when i was actually showing, my OB never once said to me-you’re going to have a big baby-instead he just said little remarks like “so are you planning on having a big baby?” or “you’re measure really big this week” or “how much did you and Jon weigh when born?” etc etc. he kept down playing how big this boy really was, on purpose i’m sure, so he didn’t scare me. he asked me close to the end of my pregnancy what my biggest fear was, and i told him a C-SECTION/complications DUH! he explained to me that all that mattered was a healthy baby and mommy and giving birth is fairly safe these days and the death rate is very low. so i guess that made me feel better (not really) but i nodded my head and smiled anyways. surely enough, i had a C-section!
i had such a great team at the hospital with me-jon, auntie m, leslie (jon’s mom) and all the wonderful labor & delivery nurses and my amazing Dr Dahle. the only person missing was my sister mika who was rooting me on the whole day/night/day on the east coast. After 22 hours of labor, i opted for a C-section and finally this little dude decided to show his face. a full head of hair and already lifting his head and big alert eyes.
i am beyond excited to be spending the rest of my life with this little dude. you were well worth the pain. pain + cut= amazing baby boy.
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